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Thursday, August 21, 2003
dear diary,
feeling heartbroken today. broke up with her. now, tears are falling down my check while im typing this entry. talking with ada, my sis now. im feeling really down. need her pic to relax me. but to no avail. my sis gave me kueh that i love to eat when im small. she dont know yet. but, she did cheer me up a little.
this is the first time i ever cry for a girl. feeling really down. seems like the whole world collaspe on me. i think it will take me days, or even weeks to type my next entry. till here.
heartbroken....
logged by Ijal at 11:52 PM
Tuesday, August 19, 2003dear diary,
wanted to write yesterday, but cant get into the webby. hehe. dont know why. so here i am.
yesterday, i met shafa. we talked under a block. i tell her, if she wanted to end the relationship, just walk away within 1 min. she pack her stuff, and did just that. my heart began to break. i heard her footsteps in the distance. then, i suddenly heard it stopped. i went to check it. it was her, rooted to the ground, as if she dont wanna go. i held her hand, and we sat at under the block. she kept quiet. so, i told her. this time around, i give her 1/2 hour to leave me. she replied no. she wanted to be with me.
with that words, i felt really, really relieved. then, we talked as usual. after this experience, i began to realised more than i cant live without her. the moment she packed her stuff, i felt something. cant describe it. if guess if she did leave me yesterday, i wouldnt type this entry. too heartbroken to do so.
now that we are still together, i must do whatever it takes to save the relationship. hopefully she do her part too. i love you shafa, cant leave without you. peace......
ijal
logged by Ijal at 10:32 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2003dear diary,
meet shafa just now. haizz.... problems again. both of us agree to break up. but, the thing is, both of us did not want to break. as if, we are really reluctant to break up. understand?? we are still together. now, we are finding solutions for all the problems.
the thing is, i do not want to break up with her at all. i love her too much to the point that i cant let her go. i cant live without her. so, if we encounter a problem, the last resort is to break up. as a matter of fact, the break up is way beyond the last resort. i dont want to end the relationship with her. we are so happy together. only thing is, there is always a problem that will come up. now, we are trying to figure out the source of the problem.
i say this once, i say this a million times. I LOVE YOU SHAFA....... i will never let you go. trust me in this. dont worry abt our relationship. i will save our relationship no matter what.
ijal
logged by Ijal at 11:33 PM